Thonau's diary

Grandpa

2006-06-27T18:19:00.000-07:00

It's been 55 days since my grandpa passed away. Last thursday was a 50-day-memorial at my house and at the pagoda. I missed all that. I even missed the moment he left the world, and the funeral.

I have been absurdly normal for the last 2 months. The only time I really cried was the day I heard the news. And actually, grandpa was already in his "last home" then. I was not told about his death until my final exams were over. That was his last wish to my family. He could not say anything about me when asked but cried. And the image of my grandpa crying on the hospital bed, really skinny and tired, was flying in my mind anytime I think about him. But I just can't cry. Part of the reason is I can not believe it's true. Maybe I was not there the minute he passed away. Maybe I was not taking care of him in his last days in this world. But even grandma and mom and aunt Chau can not believe in this reality either. They thought he was just gone somewhere. No one in my family can ever accept the fact that grandpa will never be with us anymore. I won't be able to see him the next time I am home. No one will listen to me talking about my French professor, or the cool instruments we got in our department, or join me in the politics talks. No one will be there in our meals to ask how everyone's doing in the day, and talked eagerly about random things that bring the whole family together. It's just impossible

The entire family was there when grandpa said his last words. Some 40 people, daddy said. Everyone, but me, the girl grandpa has taught from the first alphabet letter to the elegant and romantic French poems; the girl that he made memorizing an entire kid's English dictionary in one day; the girl that he puts so much hope in, with all his caring and love. I missed an entire chapter of his life, not knowing the feelings he went through and the pains he had to suffer. Some 300 people attended grandpa's funeral, I must be the only one who was not there. When I get home this Christmas, I will just see a cold, non-feeling, souless, cruel piece of stone on which engraved his name. Never can I see his smiling face again.

All that, I still can't cry. I has been so normal, so ignorant, so cold, at the same time so hurted. I just can't express my feeling. I just can't say anything. I tried to be calm anytime I call home, ensuring my family that I am ok, and that they should get relieved since grandpa was so when he died. He had fought against diabetes for the last 16 years, and it's just time he had to go. I have hold my tears inside, wishing that grandpa is happy and relieved whenever he is, and that I will try to accomplish the goals that he has placed hopes on for me.

And I did not cry, at all. Until the minute I went to Wal-mart and saw sugar-free candy...

Tet Han thuc nho banh troi banh chay

2006-04-01T12:06:00.000-08:00

I made banh troi banh chay last year with chi Thanh when we were on duty together. I totally forgot that yesterday was Tet Han thuc and forgot to buy materials to make these awesome dishes. I remembered our neighbor at home used to sell this stuff on 03/03 Lunar calendar for those who wanted to save time not going through the hassles themselves. I don't see any problem with making banh troi, banh chay. Especially now you can buy the pre-made dough instead of soaking the flour for a day. People should make them more as a way to understand the traditional cuisine. I myself love these traditional stuff. It's so much fun and relaxing to make this dish, especially with a friend. That reminds me of chi Thanh a lot. I miss her and miss cooking with her, my lovely sister.

My cutie little niece

2006-03-07T09:36:00.000-08:00

This is my niece. Isn't she so cute. She was born when I was at home, and I got to hold her like everyday until I left for the States. Her name is Lena, and it actually took her parents weeks after she was born to finalize on that name. Born on a full moon day, 3.9kg (8.6lbs), she is foreseen to be a clever yet stubborn girl. Well, we'll see how that goes but for now, she already weighs 6kg after 1month and 15 days. Her mom told me that "trom via" she's so well-behaved and only cries when she needs to eat or to be changed. But her dad is funny enough to feed her anytime she cries no matter what. :D.

UPDATE: She's now 6-month old, really pretty, with lighter complexion and that makes her mom really really happy. She visited my parents recently and was doing a little salsa dance on her dad's lap although she barely know how to crawl. :D

When things go wrong

2006-03-05T16:45:00.000-08:00

My mom called me on Thursday night. It's never a good sign when she called me anytime other than weekend. I just got done with my last exam that morning and I feel pretty excited that spring break is coming so close. Until I heard my mom saying that my grandpa is too sick, and he has been staying in the hospital the last four days. Although she tried to tell me to keep calm and that's things would be ok, I know it may not be. I can tell through her voice how serious it's getting to be. When I decided to go home for X-mas, I knew it might be the last time I got to see my grandpa. But I tried to avoid thinking about it. I tried hard to think that it'd be fine like it has been for a long time. I bought a phone card to talk to my grandpa in the hospital. He seemed to be fine, and persuaded me that there's nothing to worry about. But he could not talk for so long, and that often means he's not feeling well enough to keep talking. And the tears just kept rolling down my face and I didn't know what to do anymore :(

Back to OWU

2005-09-07T20:38:00.000-07:00

It has been a while since my last post. Six months, actually, time just flew by before a blink. I have been back to OWU for 3 weeks and school started 10 days ago. Things go well mostly. This is the first year I am on the RA staff and the job does take quite a lot of time in my day. Three times in a row I am on duty and somebody waked me up at 3 am complaining about sth. And there went my whole night. But in most part it's fun. Like we have a real fire alarm before the fire drill, I have a double-as-single room and a roomate, who's actually my co-RA, living at the other end of the hall-way. We walked by the hallway zillion times a day and see each other half of those times. It's really nice to have a roomate without having to share the bedroom.

When I left Vietnam, my grandpa was still in the hospital. He took a heart attack earlier, not so serious, fortunately. However, when taken to the hospital, he was immediately transfered to the emergency room for an artery surgery. He was very weak after that, and I felt really bad when I had to leave for school. When old people get to some certain age, you can't tell what will happen and when.

2005-03-14T19:29:00.000-08:00

When I was small, I loved to read "Nhan Dan"-Voice of the Vietnamese Communist Party. For some reasons, those political news and social issues fascinated me more than comic books or cartoons. (Not that I didn't like anything else, just I didn't like contemporary stories and cartoons that much. And there weren't a whole lot of decent comics and cartoons at that time anyway). I dreamt that when I grew up, I would be a great great politician, or at least a goverment official, who would change things to the ways they should be.

Most people, including me, does not follow their childhood innocent dreams along the run. Some do, though, and people laugh so hard at somebody who says "I do this or that because I had dreamt of it since I was small". They think that sounds weird, even deceiving in some sense. But I think that's ok, as long as their dreams are practical and that there's reasons to believe one should follow what one thought at "stuffy nose" age they should do in the future.

Now of course I don't know what on earth I should do for the rest of my life. My father insists that I am a study girl and I will be student forever. And that if I can survive through Ph.D I will choose sth else to go to school for. Don't misintepret that as if I were a hardworking student. I am a typical lazy student who'd rather spend the whole spring break watching hundreds of movies than do anything to clear out the two-page list of things I should have done already. I know I want to do pharmacy, and as the cost of medicine in Vietnam is just as ridiculous as in America, it is possible for me to make a fortune. But that's if I ever own a company. And that means I should study more on Eman. Huh, but that may also lead to your seeing me sitting in an accounting office or Bank of America. Then life is screwed up. Being a doctor is great too, you can be your own boss, but that means at least ten more years of school, then my father is right. Acceptable premise defended in a cogent subargument (Brave got that worng in the exam).

In any case I would not see myself as a politician or goverment official, not anymore. I feel really bad anytime I read news on terrible accidents that deprive the lives of many innocents, or catastrophies, or just anything unsolvable involving substandard living and inappropriate policies. Yes I care, as much as any of you may care, if not more. I really care and I want to care. But I can't do much even if I would be elected to a crucial position that may change something. Improving our people's lives is too difficult and time consuming. Long way to go. Pessimistic I am not, but when one blames a leader for not fulfilling his tasks the way he should, I take it simply that he just can't . Politicians are elected to hear critics, but that does not means they are false. It's just that we are depressed and we criticize them. And I don't like to hear unnice things, so I just won't be a politician.

Nevertheless I am still crying for the unlucky people, and sad, and depressed, and going insane as I always am. I can't stand the tragedy. It's too much for me to handle. But I won't be a politician by any mean, and I will keep crying and sad, and depressed, and going insane.

The road to forgiveness

2005-02-27T01:11:00.000-08:00

I accidentally got into reading this book because Brave cleaned out his drawers and intended to throw it away. The title is pretty simple yet catchy. As I started reading the book, I felt a big theme of God admiration and belief that the authors embedded in their story. Two happy parents were shocked when they lost their mother and daughter at the same time in an accident caused by a drunk driver. A tragedy, a lost, a nightmare, a sadness and angers are possibly seen. Suffering from the terrible incident, the couple tried to think openly and believe in God's guide to their lives. They finally forgive the "murderer" and befriended with her. As much as I don't like all the monologues with Gods and the religious parts of the story, I love the way the story ended and how the couple pass through " the road to forgiveness". It was not easy as we might think. There's always a self-contradiction in each of us anytime we try to forgive someone. But we need forgiveness to move on, and life needs forgiveness to be pink. Anytime that there's a possible thing to be forgiven, let's do so as you would feel much relieved. Forgiving someone is to open an exit for that person and you as well. Sometimes it's hard to forgive, but overcome your own selfishness and do the best you can.

I can't be thankful enough for having you...

2005-02-21T19:40:00.000-08:00

I don't know how life would be for me now if I don't have you by my side like this. I am so happy the past few days have been wonderful for us. Anytime I am with you and stay in your arms, I feel safe and relax, but more than that I feel I am the luckiest person in the world. I am thankful for your sharing of happiness and sadness. And I am more than happy when I can be there when you really need me. Sometimes I make you sad, and I am sorry for ever do so, but I know above all, you love me and understand me. I can not say enough about this but honey, I love you.

Sometimes you wonder...

2005-02-21T19:28:00.000-08:00

Ha Noi da sang ram thang Gieng. "Le quanh nam khong bang ram thang Gieng". Cho du da no du voi cai Tet keo dai le the tuong chung nhu chua muon roi, nguoi ta van lam mam co ram thang Gieng cho thinh soan. Cac ba cac co thi lo di chua di phu, le thap phuong, cau phuc cau may, cau buon ban thanh dat, cau tinh duyen va ti ti nhung thu gi ma long tham vo day cua con nguoi chua dung duoc.

Delaware troi van lanh, nua lanh nua nong, dong chua muon roi ma xuan chua buon toi. Long nguoi cung chang hon gi thoi tiet. Luc nao cung ban khoan, luc nao cung lo lang, lang thang tren mang den muc chang biet nen lam gi nua thi di ngu, mac ke cai nui viec van cho san o kia. Va nhieu khi viec nhieu qua thi chi biet cam dau cam co lam cho xong, roi ngoanh di ngoanh lai thang 2 da sap het roi, va Tet cu nhu di vang xa xua lam.

Cai gi cung co gia cua no. Danh doi lay mot tuong lai sang lang la nhung thang ngay cuc kho. Nhung danh doi mot cuoc song vui ve hon nhien bang nhung su xa cach, nhung noi nho nhung, nhung tiec nuoi, va cai su gia dan khong can thiet de lay mot tuong lai mu mit. Co dang khong?

Than van la the ma long van phai tu nhu hay song lac quan hon mot chut. Uh thi co bao gio bi quan dau, chi la cam giac co mot cuoc song khac o ngoai kia dang yeu soi dong hon ma minh voi mai, voi mai khong bao gio toi.

Chang hieu sao lai dat ten cai topic nhu the nua. Chac la quen mat minh dinh viet cai gi, lai luyen thuyen roi....

First luck of the semester

2005-02-17T16:32:00.000-08:00

Just got a letter of appointment today. Gonna be RA next year. I am so excited. Thanks honey for supporting me in everything. It made my day. :D

Happy Valentine's Day!

2005-02-14T00:14:00.000-08:00

To my love:
I just want to tell you how much I love you, more than any thing, I can't express my love to you enough from using my short-broken vocabulary. Anyway, I want you have a great happy valentine's day. Wish our love will last forever. Love you with all my heart!
Your truly, madly, deeply fxxx boyfriend
Brave

2005-02-13T01:02:00.000-08:00

That's about it. Just want to give you once again the overview of all the dishes in different angles. Look how great it is. Hehe but to give you a hint, it would not look that good if you dont have a great photo taker, hehe it's me. At least, I contributed something. Enjoy watching us eating! :D
Brave

2005-02-13T00:58:00.000-08:00

Dau sot ca chua, made by... unknown (I guess either Thao or Thanh made it). But whoever it was, you can say it looks good, and of course taste good
Brave

2005-02-13T00:56:00.000-08:00

Bap cai xao, made by Thao. I guess I dont have to give any comment since she's a great cook, so everything needs to be good when she makes it. :D
Brave

2005-02-13T00:53:00.000-08:00

Here comes my favorite of all time: Thit kho tau (Pork and Egg cooked in Chinese style). Thao did an excelent job on this. No more comment, I love it!
Brave

2005-02-13T00:51:00.000-08:00

Canh mang (bamboo soup) with moc (meatball stuffed with mushroom). One of the regular dishes that are often on the dinning table for the Tet. We got the bamboo in the Asian Market on Clevelend for a crazily...cheap price. And plus with the hands of Thao, it turned out to be a great dish
Brave

2005-02-13T00:46:00.000-08:00

Banh Trung, one of a must have foods for Tet Holiday. We bought this from the Cleveland Asia Market, and then fried it. And be honest, it's one of my favorites food too. (Sorry, I'm not sure who fried it, so could not give credit to that person)
Brave

2005-02-13T00:43:00.000-08:00

This is mien xao, cooked by Ha. Funny thing about this is: no offense, but it turned out to be much better than expected. And Thang, eventhough he didn't believe in Ha's cooking, he still loved this dish. He contributed the most in making the plate empty in the end :D Well done, Ha
Brave

2005-02-13T00:38:00.000-08:00

Ok, here is spring roll in closer look. They were made by Thao, Thanh, Ha and Jenny. I can't give enough compliments to this. In short, just GREAT
Brave

2005-02-13T00:34:00.000-08:00

Are you ready for this? Our big dinner to celebrate the Vietnames New Year. It was on Friday, Feb 11th, 4 days after the New Year Eve. But so what? It was great fun, we still got to celebrate our most important traditional holiday. The picture is like an overview of what we have for the food. Just to name all of the dishes: Nem (spring roll), Bap cai xao (Cabbage stir fries), Thit kho tau (Pork in Chinese Style), Banh trung ran (the fried square rice cake), xoi (sweet yellow rice), mien xao (stir fried clear noodles), canh mang (bamboo soup) and last but not least, dau phu (the tofu with tomatoes). Overall. the food is great, and we had great fun hanging out and chatting with each other
Brave

2005-02-09T20:41:00.000-08:00

Vua ngoi gap lai quyen sach Ochem, trong dau cac thu cu nhay nhot lung tung hon loan ca len. Bay gio o nha da la trua mung 2 Tet. Dau xuan ba van thuong bao phai la nhung ngay yen binh, tinh lang, thanh than, khong vuong no nhung lo toan bon be, nhung cai va cau gat thuong nhat de don chao mot nam moi hanh phuc. Nhung o cai xu lanh nay thi kiem dau ra cai su thanh than day. Bon cai exams, qua nhieu cho mot nam se ban ron la lai day lo toan.

Lau lam roi khong con duoc cai cam giac the nao la Tet. Troi Delaware hai hom vua roi cung hoi lat phat mua, va chang lanh lam. O nha bo me bao troi Ha Noi cung the. Cai tiet troi mua xuan tuy co hoi am uot nhung lai am ap , day moi la niem mong moi moi khi tet ve. Chu cai lanh cat da cat thit cua gio mua dong bac thi chi bo chan nguoi ta o nha voi thit dong va banh chung ma thoi.

Khi Thao con nho nam nao bo cung goi banh chung. Bo da lam thi phai lam nhieu co, it ra cung co 30 cai. Con phai chia cho cac nha nua chu, goi it qua thi mat cong. The la tu may bua truoc do ba da phai chon duoc loai nep cai hoa vang that trang va ngon, roi thi dau xanh o que gui len con nguyen ca vo, ngam qua dem cho no mem ra. La dong ba cung chon that ky, de tau la xanh va to vua phai, khong bi ua nhieu ca, cung khong qua gia xo va cung se kho goi. Ngay hom truoc Thao voi di se ngoi rua tung tau la mot, xep ra phoi cho kho, roi ba voi me thi ngam gao va dau xanh vao hai cai chau Lien Xo cu to dung. Ca nha se day tu sang som de phu giup bo goi banh chung. Thao cat la va gap nep lai de bo xep vao nhau va goi banh. Me voi ba thi lien tuc thay nhau uop thit, do dau xanh va nam thanh tung nam to hon ngon tay. Bo chang can khuon ma goi nhanh va chac chan, vua vuong van lai vua dep. Nhung banh chung cua bo thi nhieu dau lam ma Thao lai ghet an dau cho nen bao gio cung tu goi cho minh vet noi mot cai banh nho nho, va hi hung ghe lam. Noi banh chung to dung cao den lung tuong dat ngay ngan tren cai ke gach, chat day cui kho. Den chieu toi yen tinh la nghe tieng no lop bop vui tai ghe lam. Bo bao gio cung ru moi nguoi den choi bai tam cuc de canh chung noi banh chung quy gia. Bay gio thi bo cung ban nhieu viec roi, ma nha cung chang may ai hao huc mon banh chung ngay Tet nhu xua nua, nen moi khi Tet den me chi dat dam ba chiec o may hang gio cha. U cung la thit, la dau, la gao sao ma khong ngon khong thom nhu cai banh cua nha.

Nam nay me bao Tet con ga, lai dang co cum ga nen chang ai dam mua ve an. Mam com phai cung thit lon va cac mon cung chang thay dau bong dang con ga. Neu ma o nha thi Thao se thich lam, vi binh thuong moi dip Tet nhat hay gio chap gi ma co mon ga la lai nhan nho. Me co lam mam com chac cung nho con gai o phuong xa dang chang biet Tet la cai gi.

Khi nho Thao van mong Tet den de co tien mung tuoi. Nhung lon len roi lai cam nhan ve Tet khac di mot chut. Thao thich nhung ngay giap Tet duoc di vong quanh Ha noi, nhat la tren khu pho co, de ngam nhin cai ve dep trong su nao nhiet cua Thu do, va de sam Tet. Mon khoai khau cua may co nang hoc sinh la mut va o mai Tet, the nen nam nao cung tranh voi me di mua do cho khay mut Tet de trang trong tren ban khach. Co nam chen nhau ca tieng dong ho den toat mo hoi hot moi mua duoc may can o mai, nhung nhin nhung tui mut o mai ngay Tet lai thay vui vui, chang co cam giac met moi gi nua. Ve den nha la da thay bo mua canh dao va cay quat canh de trang tri trong phong khach hay ngoai sanh. Con di Chau voi me lai thich that nhieu cay hoa ruc ro mau sac de trong trong san cho do trong. The la nha cua cu tu tu duoc don dep, trang tri, bay bien cho that dep de don xuan. Nam moi, troi dat moi, pho phuong va ngoi nha than yeu cung moi, long minh cung moi hon len mot chut.

Ke ra "an Tet" cung la mot tu hop ly, vi Tet la de an ma. Nha nao cung vay, co khi ngheo lam cung tranh thu danh dum ca nam de den Tet mua vai can thit lam co. Vi dau nam la phai no du, thi ca nam moi no du duoc. Cai tu lanh nam nao den 30 Tet la cung chat day cac loai tom cua ca thi, rau co de du tru cho may ngay Tet. Thao thi chang may man ma voi nhung mon an ngay Tet, vi thuong thi toan la thit ga. Banh chung, gio cha va cao luong my vi an mai cung ngay, nguoi ta thich doi qua nhung mon binh dan nhe nhang hon. The la ngay Tet thi nhau moc len nhung quan bun cua bun oc. Toan nhung mon khoai khau cua Thao ma, trong tui luc do lai rung rinh tien nen chang bao gio nghi xem no dat hay no re. Troi xuan ngoi an bat bun that la thu vi, cai cam giac nhu duoc thoat li ra khoi mot cai gi nang ne de huong thu lay cai trong mat, cai tinh tuy cua dat troi.

Tet, co nhieu cai de viet de noi lam, nhung cung chi de suong vay thoi. Delaware khong phai la Ha Noi, va exams se chang cancelled. Thoi thi cu tu cho phep minh roi xa khoi hien thuc may phut dong ho de duoc lay cai cam giac xuan ve nhu nam nao. Nhung cau chuc Tet ngan ngui, nhung tam thiep dien tu gui voi va, sao lam diu duoc noi long cua nguoi xa xu. Ha Noi van don Tet, vui ve va dam am, dau co hieu noi long nguoi tha huong ben nua kia qua dia cau. Nho lam, Ha Noi oi.

Mathematical Excuses

2005-02-07T17:12:00.000-08:00

For students not to do homework:

- I accidentally divided by zero and my paper burst into flames.
- I could only get arbitrarily close to my textbook, I couldn't actually reach it.
- I have the proof, but there isn't room to write it in this margin.
- I have a solar-powered calculator, and it was cloudy.
- I locked the paper in my trunk, but a four-dimensional dog got in and ate it.
- I couldn't figure out whether i AM the square root of negative one or i IS the square root of negative one.

For professors not to give out proof:

-Proof by omission: "The reader may easily supply the details" or " The other 253 cases are analogous"
-Proof by funding: " How could three different goverment agencies be wrong?
-Proof by deferral: " We'll prove this later in the course"
-Proof by intimidation: " Trivial"
-Proof by seduction: " Convince yourself that this is true"
-Proof by accumulated evidence: " Long and diligent search has not revealed a counterexample"

(Reteln and Dundes)

Mathematical Folklore

2005-02-07T16:59:00.000-08:00

Q: Why did the mathematician name his dog "Cauchy"?
A: Because he left a residue at every pole.

Q: What is a topologist?
A: Someone who can't distinguish between a doughnut and a coffee cup.

Q: Why didn't Newton discover group theory?
A: Because he wasn't Abel.

Q: What do you get if you cross an elephant and a banana?
A: /elephant/*/banana/*sin(theta).

Q: What is a polar bear?
A: A rectangular bear after a coordinate transform.

Q: What does a topologist call a virgin?
A: Simply connected.

Q: How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 0.999999.......

Q: Why does a chicken cross the road?
A: It was forced to do so by the chicken-hole principle.

Q: How many analysts does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three. One to prove existence, one to prove uniqueness, and one to derive a nonconstructive algorithm to do it.

Theorem: All dogs have nine legs.
Proof: Would you agree that no dogs have five legs? Would you agree that a dog has four legs more than no dog? 4+5=???

Theorem: All positive integers are interesting.
Proof: Assume the contrary. Then there is a lowest noninteresting positive integer. But, hey, that's pretty interesting! A contradiction.

Professor is fun some time...

2005-02-05T16:51:00.000-08:00

Ochem class, Friday morning.
Lever: The electrophile is gonna look for the Nu:, which one is the most negative? Of course Dr. Bruke is, and I'm sometimes too, but here it's the bromine. :D
Lever: This ring is activated, so it'll say "Hell yeah!"

Long time no see...

2005-02-02T23:49:00.000-08:00

I haven't had time to write any new post for more than a week. Actually, that's just an excuse for being too lazy to think of something to write. But since the formal lab report got me into the mood of writing, I feel like I wanna say sth. Maybe bullshit sth.

Five days from now will be Tet holiday. I am not even excited. It;s no fun to have it on a Wednesday, in the middle of my 4 midterms. If I am home now, things will be different. But that's a dream. The third time I am away from home during this holiday season, and I hardly even have the feeling for it.

But that's ok. There's gonna be more Tet I will miss. Pas de problemes. Next Friday we'll have a big dinner. Yeah. Not all people will come, may be. I am so used to it. Nobody wants to value the advantage of living together like this, and have the union dinner kidda thing when everyone needs it.

This is totally bullshit in a sense that I don't even know what I am talking about. If you read thru the whole thing, and doesn't think it's bullshit, your IQ must have dropped drasmatically.

Standardizing arguments

2005-01-24T06:40:00.000-08:00

Prof: The strong argument is cogent.
Student: Sound
Prof: Thank you. Jesus, what in hell is worng with me today. Oh I know what it is, there' s some stupid beeping noises in my house since November. At first I guesses it's the fire alarm that is running out of battery, but I checked all of them, and they were fine. It must be built in inside the wall. Some crazy builder has thrown something in there. Damn it.
Student: Since November??
Prof: Yes, NOVEMBER. But it's getting fainter. I guess I just put up with it and sleep with my ear plugs on.
Student: Are you serious?
Prof: I am deadly serious.........Enough for that, now this argument is cogent because.......
Student: There's a beeping noise in your room....

Untitled

2005-01-20T17:28:00.000-08:00

I spent the whole evening reading some articles on Vietnamnet. It's not because I have nothing to do, just because the RA application was so boring and I merely started the second question when I decided to gvie up. But that's not a bad thing, since reading those articles made me think, and think seriously, about life.

Sometimes you live, and get bored, and stress, and don't want to live anymore. But there will be times when death is so close that you can never tell. I am not trying to be pessimistic, but any of us, one day or another, sooner or later, will realize that we have wasted our life and often when we realize the value of happiness we are having, it's already too late. People said the youngers now have a habit of complaining and whining when life does not have any thing considerable to be complaint about. That's such a common sense that if one day, you open your mouth and says " I am so happy and my life is wonderful", people will turn around and look at you like you are a monster, or UFO of some kind. It may be a way to get sympathized, or a way to relieve stress, or a way to be humble. Or may be by telling how terrible everything is to you, you will not be as shocked when a horrible thing happens, or be happier when a lucky star comes. However, no matter what the reason is, just take a look to the world outside, and you should stop complaining.

Two brother and sister end up being orphans when daddy was killed just three years after their mother died. But their grandma is too old and weak and their uncles and aunts are so poor that nobody can take care of them. A 70 year old women, who is a granddaughter of a former famous leader in the war, is taking care of her two mentally retarded sons, and keeps wondering everyday how they are gonna live when she dies. A mother of ten was surviving seven other villagers in the flood, never will come back with her children, the smallest was not even a year old.

There are so many lives out there that are not as lucky as ours. Well, you can tell me that everywhere there's happiness and sadness, lucky and unlucky people. But just value your life right, and live as energetic and enthusiatic as one could be. And do as much as you can for yourself and your society before it's too late. And don't live in your self-built prison whining and feeling bored since so many needs out there are waiting for you. And live yourself a life that when you die, you feel you do not miss anything.

Boring piece of ....!

2005-01-17T14:34:00.000-08:00

Monday morning, cold and tired, came to class and "got excited" with a series of molecular orbital stuff, all the pi and sigma and HOMO and LUMO and diene and dienophile (diene loving). What a way to start a day, well a week, actually. The not too bad thing was it was not too difficult, just crazy. Analytical was worse, and I meant it. After a week of glossary introducing and all the random and systematic uncertainties that I was already stuffed with and extremely hated in Physic lab, here comes the statistical analysis. I guess there's no way to get around it. That means wasting another half week listening to mean, standard deviation, normal distribution, z-score and t-scoreand zillions of those stupid things. Jesus, gotta have some mental problem to take another 365. That means at least three times repeating the same .... I am definitely not a Statisticsophile.

Snow in Delaware

2005-01-17T13:38:00.000-08:00

There's no such feeling as waking up Sunday morning and being greeted by 5-inch of snow. WHITE, everything is covered with a plain, deadly cold white color. That also means some extra exercise in the morning to get ourselves motivated - scraping the snow off the car. That also means getting up 15 minutes earlier if planning to go somewhere. And in this -8oC- feel like -18oC weather, there's nothing to do with fun here.

Since there's no Korean BBQ ribs (Kalbi) to be found in CAM, we decided to have "mien luon" (bean thread noodle with eel soup) for Sunday dinner. CAM happened to have eel that day, just perfect timing. So far so good, except that there's no "rau ram" in the place. Well, since being a picky Vietnamese "food enjoyer", I'd rather take a long drive just to get that stupid but necessary herbs. A small bunch rang up to $1.50. Ouch!. If grandma knows this, she would take a massive heart attack. Ba co the mua duoc ca mot vuon rau ram de gui may bay sang cho chau do phai di mua voi cai gia cu chuoi nhu the. Oh well, that's American "rau ram", grandma. At least dinner was perfect (well, I thought it was).

First weekend after break

2005-01-15T19:15:00.000-08:00

Three weeks of break seemed shorter than the first week of school. Daily life is stuffed with classes and labs and tons of unnecessary assignments. Never have I hated school that bad. Oh well, still 3 more to go.

Weekend is the best sound in English at this moment. Delaware is so cold and life is dead. Haven't got any snow yet (Better not be like last year). It's kinda frustrated not being able to go out but I love spending time with you, just two of us, when there's nothing to worry about (of course there's not much of such a time, just ever idealistic).

Thanh came back with a whole bunch of things. Me gui ruoc va nam va ti ti thu de con gai thuc hien cong cuoc vao bep chong doi. Thank cung mang sang ca com kho, roi doc mung va tai chua... "co bao gio nau dau co chu, nhung cu mang, bao la mang sang de lam qua cho em Thao...". (Nay, ko ninh not dut lot gi thi em Thao u them nau cho dau day...jk). Chi kho than Thanh hai goi o mai vua mang sang den noi da bi em Thao boc lot het. Co cai gi ngon ngon hay hay thi nen giau bot di ko thi...gonna wonder where they went.

I miss home so much. Almost 2 years already, 3 birthdays away from home. My mom must be so worried... all mothers are like that- " con gai luc nao chang be nho". I should have came home this Xmas. Oh well, 3 months will be for sure better than 3 weeks.

Ha Noi dang ret, ret cat da cat thit. Ngay xua moi lan o nha troi ret the nay la buoi toi ko muon hoc ma chi muon vao chan ngu voi ba` cho am. Phong ba`, giuong ba`, chan ba` bao gio cung am hon cua Thao (psychological thing, must be). Ban ngay di hoc phong xe may co mac 10 cai ao, va bit kin chi ho hai con mat thi van thay ret . Delaware tuyet co ngap trang xoa cung chang ret nhu cai ret 10 do C cua Ha Noi. Nghe noi dan tinh chi thich di xe buyt va taxi, chu chang them xe may nua. Gia ma duoc ve nha bay gio thi co ret may cung phong xe ra ngoai duong tat. Rat do mat moi la Ha Noi mua dong chu. Troi ret the nay ma toi nao di hoc ve cung thay chi chit nhung hang ban oc luoc ruou thuoc. Ret cam cam ma cung leu cung bat, chi vi cai vi cay cay cua gung cua ot va chen ruou thuoc voi bat oc luoc nong hoi lam cho nguoi am han len, chang thay dau cai ret buot da ay nua. Nguoi ban hang co le chi can nhin nhung khuon mat do hong cua khach xi xup hit ha cai cay nong cua oc luoc ma thay vui, thay am long, ma co du suc de ngoi phoi mat giua cai ret buot da ay. Ha Noi la the ma, nguoi ta ko suoi am bang lo suoi dien ma bang nhung dieu nho nhat, bang nhung tam long.

Cool!!!!!! I lovvvvvvvveeeee it!!!!!!

2005-01-14T16:57:00.000-08:00

Thanks my lovely honey for creating this site for me. See, you are a perfect complimentary good for me, just there at the right place to do the right thing....:D (I'm not an economist so my simile is kinda odd..)

2005-01-13T23:26:00.000-08:00

Thonau's picture

I'm having a bad day

2005-01-13T22:56:00.000-08:00

Honey,
I'm really sorry for all the things I have said and done today. It wasn't my day. I went to the fricken 8 o'clock class, but it got canceled. Then I went to get the money back from Student Account, but again, didn't get it yet. Then I went home and just took a nap, but couldn't get up for the second class. And we had a big fight. It was my fault, I couldnt control myself. I hope you could forgive me. I want you to know that, for whatever reason, I will always love you.
Your bad boyfriend
Dzung